My Story of Trauma, Motherhood, Survival, and Healing

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and this episode of the BFF Empowerment Podcast is one of the most personal episodes I have ever shared. Mental health is something that has been very real in my life because I have endured many different forms of trauma, from childhood into adulthood. Those experiences challenged me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, but they also shaped the woman I am today.

In this episode, I wanted to open up about a part of my story that many people may not know: how I became a single mother.

Many people make assumptions when they see a single mother. They may assume she was irresponsible, careless, or simply made poor choices. But every single mother has a story, and mine is not one of irresponsibility. Mine is a story of circumstance, betrayal, survival, and ultimately, purpose.

For much of my life, I was told that I would never be able to have children because of trauma I experienced in my younger years. Becoming a mother was something I wanted, but I did not know if it would ever be possible. So when I found out I was pregnant, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was shocked, confused, afraid, and in disbelief.

On one hand, I realized the doctors had been wrong. I could carry a child. That was a miracle. But on the other hand, the circumstances surrounding my pregnancy were painful and traumatic. I had not planned to become a mother at that point in my life, and I certainly had not planned to do it alone.

What made the situation even more heartbreaking was learning that my pregnancy happened because of someone else’s intentional and deceptive actions. I was forced into a life-changing situation without my consent, and that reality was devastating. I remember asking myself, “Why do people keep hurting me?” After everything I had already survived, this felt like another painful chapter added to a life that had already required so much strength.

But even in that pain, something shifted in me.

I began to see my child as a miracle. I realized that although I had been placed in a situation I did not choose, I still had the power to choose what kind of mother I would become. I could break the cycle of abuse. I could become the mother I never had. I could give my child the love, protection, and stability I always deserved.

Pregnancy was not easy emotionally. I went through many lonely moments. I felt my baby growing, kicking, and moving, but I did not have the kind of support I had always imagined. I had pictured starting a family with love, partnership, and joy. Instead, I was preparing to raise a child on my own.

Toward the end of my pregnancy, I experienced a serious medical emergency. At my 37-week appointment, my blood pressure was dangerously high, and I was sent to the hospital to be induced. On December 28, 2018, I was induced, and 24 hours later, my son was born. He weighed 6 pounds and 7 ounces. After everything, we both made it through, but we had to remain in the hospital for about a week because of my blood pressure complications and his severe jaundice.

When we finally came home, the reality of single motherhood hit me hard.

I had prepared physically. I had bought diapers, wipes, clothes, and everything I thought my baby would need. But mentally, I was not prepared for the weight of doing it all alone. I had never held a baby before. I had never changed a baby before. I was blind, a new mother, exhausted, overwhelmed, and afraid.

There were moments when I cried and thought, “I can’t do this.” I questioned myself. I wondered if I was strong enough. I wondered if I had made the right choice. But then something inside me reminded me that my son only had me. I could not give up on him. I had to get up, wipe my tears, and keep going.

And I did.

Seven years later, my son is thriving. Our journey has not been easy. I have had to advocate for him through multiple disabilities, challenges, behavioral struggles, and emotional battles. There have been days when I felt completely overwhelmed. There have been days when my own mental health was hanging by a thread.

After leaving another traumatic relationship when my son was three years old, I found myself in one of the darkest seasons of my life. I had uprooted everything, fled a harmful situation, and ended up in a living arrangement that was not healthy for either of us. I felt defeated. I felt tired. I felt like I could not survive one more trauma.

There was a night when I cried in the bathroom and thought about giving up completely. But then I thought about my son sleeping in the other room. I thought about what would happen to him if I was not here. I realized that I could not leave him unprotected in this world. He needed me. I needed to live for him, but eventually, I also had to learn how to live for myself.

Healing took work. It required therapy. It required self-reflection. It required family therapy, individual therapy, and the willingness to face the pain instead of pretending it did not exist.

That is why mental health matters.

Mental health challenges are real. Trauma can deeply affect the way you think, feel, parent, love, trust, and move through the world. Having mental health struggles does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you are human. It means you have carried heavy things. It means you deserve support, healing, and compassion.

Sometimes healing requires professional help. Sometimes it requires medication. Sometimes it requires therapy. Sometimes it begins with simply having someone listen without judgment. Whatever support looks like for you, do not be afraid to ask for it.

You cannot be your healthiest self if your mental health is suffering in silence. You can take care of your body, build a career, manage your finances, and appear strong on the outside, but if your mental health is unchecked, everything else can feel heavy.

I share my story because I know what it feels like to feel alone. I know what it feels like to wonder if anyone truly cares. I know what it feels like to survive things people may never fully understand. But I also know what it feels like to choose healing. I know what it feels like to keep going. I know what it feels like to break cycles.

Growth is a choice. Healing is a choice. Overcoming is a choice. Refusing to remain a victim is a choice.

No matter what you have been through, you are not alone. There is help. There is hope. There is still life beyond the trauma.

If you are struggling with your mental health, please reach out to someone. Talk to a therapist, a trusted friend, a teacher, a faith leader, a family member, or someone who can support you. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Your life matters. Your healing matters. Your mental health matters.